…and I can’t get myself out. My last actual event was the Club to Pub swim (nope, haven’t got a write up of it sorry…but it was quite fun) and that was bang on a month ago. And since then I’ve just been dithering a bit.  To be fair, ever since April, I haven’t really had a reason to train. I’ve had little or no direction, just running for runnings sake – I mean it’s not as if I’m not training, it just has no purpose. Why am I running round a track? Who know? What is my training plan for this week? Who knows? Am I going to go to the gym today? (Think you get the picture now, who knows?)

I’ve just been on holiday for 2 weeks and I hoped that might give me a change to think and train and get a plan together. But instead I felt fairly sleepy EVERY DAY and spent most of it drinking wine and eating cheese and hardly ever checking my phone #sorrynotsorry.

I mean I had a great time – the few runs I did were in beautiful scenery and super chilled out, but I didn’t do as much as I would like and I need to stop beating myself up for it. Nor do I have the magical solution for this current ‘meh’ attitude.

I’m off to Font Romeu for some ‘altitude training’ in a week and a half (I am hoping it’s basically training my body to be able to function and go running purely on a diet of cheese and wine) but I don’t really know what I’m expecting to get out of it. I don’t have any events, I don’t have any long term plans, everyone else is super speedy and probably does have events and plans….

Even looking ahead to next year – I’ve got a place for London. Do I run it? I could also get a Boston spot – do I do it? Do I want to spend a 4th year in a row of dragging myself out for miles and miles every Sunday and feeling like I’m stuck to a plan? To be fair, I don’t know if I do. But do I want to miss Boston with the risk I might not get a qualifying time again?

And if I don’t do a marathon, what do I do? Do I put my neck on the line for a big challenge next year? I’m not talking the whole shebang, maybe a 70.3. Do I NEED to have something lined up? (in line with the general population, probably not, but I think I would feel lost i.e. exactly how I do now)

I liked playing 7s a couple of times this summer. Should I go and play rugby over the winter? I sort of like swimming (LOL!) should I keep that up? I haven’t been out on my bike nearly enough – should i be sacrificing more of my weekends? I forgot until holiday how much I enjoy mountain biking – should I be getting on it more often? (Although that would mean moving a THIRD bike into the living room of my flat…) Another option would be to head to the track and get my head down in some of the field events (except for the fact the season is over) – my throwing is appalling but i used to have a decent triple jump on me and I would like to give some of it a go again. Netball? Maybe? Pick up a new sport?

Should I be doing all these weird blogger shenanigans? How do people have time to attend all these classes and do all these events? I don’t know the last time I went to an actual class at the gym (although I have just booked in for Pilates on Thursday, which I hate, but I need to attend my 1 class every 6 months)

 My friend Dave has just about encouraged me to enter the St Albans duathlon in a few weeks (which means I should probably renew my tri license)- and I’ll be competing in the Royal Bank of Canada V Series with some of the guys at work (could be interesting), but what then?

A few people I know to call out who actually HAVE some direction and are kind of making me think that I should not just float around doing nothing as it proves things pay off (and that Clapham Chasers are pretty awesome people)

George B you in particular are one who has been outstanding over the past year and I genuinely don’t know how you’ve managed to commit to it all – but it’s paid off. To smash it under 10.30 for your first Ironman and take absolutely everything you’ve gone through in your stride is truly credible and I will actually very much miss receiving your blog emails if you don’t write as much…I mean we basically got pretty much the same time at Thames Turbo a year past May (stalky stalky behaviour from me here) and now you are a machine.  

Kedders has been smashing it on the track – a change of direction and she’s hitting PBs ALLLLLLLL over the place and putting her gazelle legs in the right place. She’s the first to testify that switching things up has really made the difference for her this summer, both from a performance and an enjoyment perspective. I am hoping she will do me a world of good up some Pyrenean mountains…

So, they have both proved that when you put your mind to something, it does work, you get the results you want, you are happy, well done.But you first need to put your mind to something.

But I currently don’t know a) what to put my mind to and b) when to actually start doing something. Basically I have just offloaded all my many questions to you dear readers. Please solve my problems for me!! (Then I might stop being mopey)